Home Affordable Modification Program (HAMP) is a crock of shit. A small percentage will succeed and get their loan modified. But the vast majority (me included) will have a carrot hung in front of their faces only to have it pulled away at the last second.

I very painstakingly worked on my loan mod for a year and a half – yes you heard correct! The amount of paperwork they will need from you is vast. No joke, I probably spent about a thousand hours on it over the course of the 1 1/2 years. They’ll tell you, as they did me, that you qualify, and you’ll move up the ladder of people handling your case. You simply qualify if you have a hard time paying your bills. But the truth is, you may have a hardship, but if you don’t meet many qualifications you won’t succeed. The person handling your case knows this but cannot tell you. Instead by law they have to see it to the end before they can give you your answer.

It’s a racket. Your mortgage holder gets paid $800 bucks every time they restart the case. And they will restart the case many-many times. The thing is all your paper work you submit (and it’s a lot) is considered out of date after 3 months. 3 months you think – that’s ok I can do it in that time. But it’s not up to you. You work for 2 weeks getting them all the paperwork >> You fax it in >> They drag their feet (massive understatement) getting back to you – even though you call daily >> finally after a month or more they call you >> good news you think >> but NO they only call because you left off a dot at the end of a few sentences and request many more docs >> you work on it all again and fax it back after a week >> now it’s been 2 months >> they finally call you at the 2 1/2 month mark and ask for more but you submit it quickly > they call you to tell you they are just waiting for your property appraisal >> they finally get it but its now its longer than 3 months >> guess what? They say many of the docs are out of date so you need to redo them all and resubmit >> bam they just made $800 bucks and you just wasted 3 months of your life >> however you refuse to give up, as I did, you repeat this process about 6 more times >> now it’s been a year and a half – you have no hair left – they’ve made $4800 – and they finally tell you don’t qualify!

FYI – if you have more than 3 months of liquid assets you don’t qualify. Or strait from the horses mouth, if you have more than $25,000 you don’t qualify. But they won’t tell you that until you’ve wasted a year and a half of your time – and hope I might add. Yes even if it’s in a retirement account (like an Annuity). Apparently an IRA is the only type of account they can’t consider liquid assets.

If you’re like me you can’t refi because they say you don’t make enough money. And you can’t loan mod because they say you make too much. The system is completely broke. Obama is spending us in to ruins to futilely attempt to get us out of this despair (I think he is attempting to overwhelm the system so we fall but that’s another subject), when all the dumbass needs to do is let go of his death grip on the banks and allow them to make sensible loans again.

I have 5 homes (bills to match) two jobs that make me $170,000 a year, 780 credit score, and have never been late on a single payment in 20 years. And I can’t get a simple refi, much less a new loan purchase, to save my life. I’ve tried 20 ways to Sunday. If those numbers can’t obtain a simple refi, we are all fucked! If they say I have too much to get the loan mod fine, I at least understand that. Unfortunately that doesn’t help me pay my bills for the next 30 years though. But for the love of god, tell me when I called a year and a half ago!


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